Are Draining Clients Holding You Back?

You know those clients that seem to suck your energy and leave you feeling drained after working with or dealing with them in any way? It may be difficult to pin down why exactly they drain your energy, or what to do about it.

I’ve found a couple of interesting articles that tackle this topic. While these aren’t specific to the massage and bodywork industry, it’s easy to see how they apply.

Nailing down your ideal client

Marie Forleo suggests preventing draining clients by knowing who your ideal client is.

Make a top ten list of attributes your ideal client would have, and use this as a filter before you take on new clients.

Consider this list when you start any new massage marketing - is the advertising you’re doing going to get you more of these kinds of clients?

Here’s what I would put on my top ten list:  

1. They respect my time as much as theirs.
   Meaning: they show up on time and expect to end on time.
   
2. They schedule their appointments out in advance and don’t expect last minute appointments.
   
3. They’ve made massage therapy a consistent part of their self care regimen.
   
4. They do not consistently cancel and reschedule.
   
5. They can afford my services.
   
6. They are not deal-seekers.
   
7. They don’t expect me to “fix” them.
   
8. They schedule online or in person at their appointment.
   
9. If they cancel with less than 24 hours notice or no show, they happily pay the cancellation fee.
   
10. They do not try and direct my work or the session.

What attributes do you want most in your ideal client? Think of your favorite clients who you love working with. What qualities stand out the most to you? Now think of those draining clients… What about them gets under your skin?

At first, it seemed hard to come up with ten, but after thinking about that a little bit the ball starting rolling and I felt like I could go on!

6 types of clients who aren't worth the money

Christine Kane cuts right to the chase with some tough love: “You get what you tolerate.”

If you allow a client’s bad behavior, it’s only going to continue. Maybe until you get to your breaking point, and then it may be too late to salvage the therapeutic relationship.

I once allowed a client’s chronic lateness without putting my foot down because I liked her as a person. By the time I did something about it, I was so irritated that I didn’t want to continue to work with her even if she corrected the behavior.

Christine lists 6 types of clients who aren’t worth the money:

1. The one who needs convincing.
2. The one who collapses. “the one who constantly collapses is committed to a pattern of helplessness.  She begins to reveal that she has no interest in turning this pattern around. She is a damsel – and she wants you to be her knight in shining armor.   Fix me, I am helpless.” Wow, I know I’ve had a few of those clients!
3. The one who doesn’t want what you offer.
4. The one who argues your pricing.
5. The one who forgets you have a life. Boundary pushers, oy. “Remember:  You teach people how to treat you.  It’s not their responsibility. It’s yours.” ^ So much yes, Christine!
6. The one who doesn’t do the work.

An ounce of prevention

Coaches Getting Clients starts right out with what should now be a familiar theme here: Work with ideal clients!

But some other gems this article offers are:

2) Be clear on your boundaries
3) Improve your awareness.
4) Show up energized & healthy
5) Change Your Business Model
(are packages draining because you know you’re not getting paid at the time of service or you’re thinking about the discount they’re receiving on your awesome service? Maybe it’s time to retire those packages if they aren’t bringing you joy at every step of the way.)

Let go of clients who drain you

Thrive Academy lists these 3:

1. Overgiving. “Charging too little or giving too much of your time, almost always leads to feelings of being drained.”
2. Not speaking your truth.  “Those things that you wish you could say to your client (but it might be rude or disrespectful, and after all, they're paying you lots of money...) Those are the things you need to say!!! Just begin your bold statement with a large dose of acknowledgment, compassion and gentleness. It's nearly impossible to boldly speak your truth and get drained at the same time.” I think this especially applies to enforcing our policies and establishing boundaries with draining clients. We’re sometimes afraid to speak our truth because this client is giving us money! We tolerate their bad behavior because we don’t want to lose their business… but how much time, energy, joy, and space for good clients will we free up by speaking our truth, even if it means losing this draining client?
3. Getting attached to your clients getting results. “Your clients' results do NOT determine your goodness or worthiness. You can be amazing, even if your client didn't get results. And you can be terrible and still have clients get results.”

Wow, I can definitely see a lot of us LMT’s having a tendency to these three. (Myself included.)

Sometimes it can be hard to correct course after you’ve been tolerating these behaviors from clients, but it’ll be so worth it. (More posts to come with some suggestions on how to do just that.)

So, do you have some things in mind for your top ten ideal client qualities? Comment your list here or hop on over to the Bodywork Buddies Facebook Group and join the discussion! *Not in our group yet? You can join after you’ve registered for the free trial within Bodywork Buddy. Paying subscription not required, just as long as you’ve registered for the trial.*

Cindy Iwlew is a licensed massage therapist who has had a private practice since 1999 and cofounder of Bodywork Buddy massage software.